Sssuper Chewy

My adventurous tongue has returned! It's been a hot minute since I've managed to find some abnormal additions to my list, but I've finally added a few animals. Today's addition: python!

I've had rattlesnake once when I was in Chicago back in 2011, and I didn't think it was worth the 25 dollars I paid for it (only got like 4 little strips). It was chewy, and I'm starting to notice a trend among snakes.

This time around I managed to get a hold of some python meat. For the 40 dollars per pound sticker price on this bad boy, I expected to be swept off my feet into succulent heaven. Instead I had to just chew on the notion of making a pretty bad investment. Again, I used a few sources on the internet to learn how to properly prepare the meat, and I think the recipes were utilized in the right way. However, I was NOT impressed by the taste or texture of this particular creature.

All of the places I found online said the meat would be chewy, though most of them also said that the longer you cook it the chewier it becomes. So, I followed their instructions for preparation to try and cut down on the cook time.


Started out by cutting up some green onions for a quick marinade. Then I put the onions in a bowl with a sprinkle of salt and the juice of one lime.

The marinade

After the marinade was ready I cut the meat into smaller strips. Once the strips were sliced out, I scored the meat so the heat could get inside easier. While cutting it I noticed how tough certain parts of the meat were, and how soft other parts were. To me, it seemed the tough part was the portion just below the skin, and so that is what would be chewy once cooked. I was right, but also kind of wrong.

meat in marinade

Once the meat was prepared I put it in the marinade and let it sit for about 15 minutes before heating the skillet to a high heat and tossing on some oil. Then it was just like cooking anything else for the most part. The meat sizzled while it cooked and smelled rather nice. I was paranoid about getting a tape worm or something from the meat so I let the first batch sit on the skillet for about a minute instead of the 30 to 45 seconds I had seen in the recipes. I didn't season the first batch (hoping to taste the real flavor of the meat, untainted by seasoning). Batch two was seasoned with parsley (at the request of the girlfriend), while batch three was seasoned with red peppers.

Finished, the browned python meat appeared just as appetizing as any other meat. My mouth watered in anticipation, and my heart fluttered in excitement. I let the girlfriend try it first, and her face instantly morphed into a moue as she put it in her mouth. I figured her tongue just wasn't accustomed to unusual meats, but when I tried it, my face matched hers.

The flavor was bland, the meat was chewy, and the 40 dollars I spent on the food rushed into my mind to mock me. I could detect the subtle flavors of the lime and onion from the marinade, but as for the python, it didn't taste like much of anything. There was a slight flavor reminiscent of chicken, but slightly tangier, but if chicken was this chewy and devoid of goodness there'd be a lot more vegetarians in the world.

I suffered through the meal, and though it was super chewy, it was still edible so I ate it. Well, I ate most of it. The parts I mentioned earlier that were closest to the skin were so chewy that it didn't break apart at all. I faced the decision of swallowing the chunks whole, or spitting them into the trash. I chose the latter after I got as much meat as possible from them.

Alas, my latest experience with snake was not my favorite. I've come to realize that mammals are way tastier than reptiles, so if you're feeling adventurous in your mouth parts, keep that in mind.

Welp, I'll have the llama post up soon. Until then, stay safe in this winter weather and thanks for listening with your eyes.