The Frugal Guy: Never Accept Beverage Items From TV Companies

It has been far too long since I've blogged, and it's high time I started again.  Life certainly took a less-interesting turn, but I suppose that's to be expected for a married man in urban West Virginia. Moving forward, this new chapter (I turn 30 in two weeks 😨😨😨) brings with it a slew of new challenges and potential joys that both excite and scare me witless. My wife and I bought our first house a little under a year ago, and our first child is making his debut in about a month. Both come with too much responsibility for me, but with God's help we'll get through it.

As many of you already know, I'm super frugal. Whether it's saving money with coupons, getting products for free, or using rewards websites to feed my growing addiction to paper cutouts of pocket monsters, I'm always looking for ways to save money.  Usually, this just benefits me, but with this blog I'm going to try and review some of these products/spread the news on products I've tried so everyone (reading this) can benefit. This first one won't benefit anyone, as access to it is all but impossible, but at least you'll know the truth about TV companies that also make beverage containers.

First up on the frugal blog agenda is something I received for free through Vizio's Fandemonium program.  The program was created to produce brand loyalty for Vizio, but it probably didn't yield much of a benefit because they're shutting it down in about a month.  I'd been a member for a few years, and managed to get a free picnic blanket, a free cooler, a free sweat towel (cause I'm so sweaty, gross), a free tote bag, some free song downloads, and most recently a free coffee tumbler. I don't even drink coffee, but I have started drinking tea so figured it would come in handy for that.

Wrong 😒

I'm a sold out supporter of glass products, and this is obviously not glass. Being stainless steel made me think it would be somewhat safe, and perhaps it is, but I'm paranoid so it's going to no use after my first use.

Here are pictures of the tumbler.

As far as tumblers go, it appeared to be a good enough quality. Has the standard twist top to open and close. Even came with a nifty second hole to allow air to enter so that pouring/drinking is smoother (or maybe the second hole is for something else entirely, and all the real coffee drinkers know the truth).  Seemed to insulate well enough, but it keeps the liquid inside about as good as clouds in the rainforest. I tried shaking soapy water inside during the cleaning process, and it went everywhere. After washing it a couple of times with a sponge and scrub brush, I gave it a few sniffs but it retained a metallic smell. I figured that was normal for metal cups (probably not true), and decided to fill it about halfway with apple juice (juice was to add to my chai tea at work to make it drinkable). I knew the tumbler leaked so I transported carefully. At work I poured it into my tea like usual.

Bad decision 😠😠

It ruined my tea and made me think I was licking a dirty quarter.  I may just be hyper sensitive and paranoid, but I gave it a sniff after dumping out the tea and the darn thing smelled like ranch salad dressing. You read right. Ranch. Salad. Dressing. The stuff that dresses salads. I have zero clues why it mysteriously took on this unusual aroma, but that aint normal so I'm done with blindly trusting this coffee tumbler as a safe beverage container.  If anyone wants this Vizio coffee tumbler to transport their ranch dressing, holler at me. Otherwise, Vizio, you need to stick to making television sets. Having a container that first smells like metal, makes the drink taste like metal, and then changes to smell like ranch dress seems dangerous.  Maybe it poisoned me so badly my sense of smell was mutated?!?

With whatever happened to my nose after the first sip, and with the way it made my tea taste, this turned out to be a bust, though I must say all the other free products I received from them were of good quality and I still use them all. Guess beverages just aren't a good fit for Vizio.

That's it for this post, but I'll be making posts periodically when I receive free products.  The next thing I have on deck is a set of glass containers so stay tuned.  I might also be receiving a Marshall speaker, but I feel like that one is just a dream and won't come true.  As always, thanks for reading!

PS---
To all the fans of the Third of Seven: stay tuned!  I'm done my final edit and have contacted the publisher.  Hopefully they respond with an acceptance of the sequel and their editor will begin work on it soon.  I'll post in the book blog when I hear back from them.

Rocky Mountain Oysters Don’t Come From Water

Rocky Mountain oysters may not be a delicacy, but there are unhealthier parts of the bull to eat. In fact, they have a number of health benefits, though the health benefits may not outweigh the psychological pain that comes from preparing these things. If you haven’t already scrolled down to see the pictures, and you have a queasy stomach, you may want to leave now because the pics are slightly graphic/disgusting.

Rocky Mountain oysters are bull testicles. The first person to try them must have been hungry because it’s not a very appetizing part of any animal, so I’m not sure how eating them was started. Still, they are more common than I would have imagined.

Raw, uncooked bull testicles

I looked up a few recipes on how to prepare the bull parts, but nothing could prepare me for the ordeal that is the preparation. I daresay this was the most psychologically scarring food I’ve ever prepared, and I hereby officially warn any and all males from preparing it. It hurt my own oysters somehow because there’s a lot of cutting and pulling (and it’s not exactly easy to pull off the parts you have to pull off) and it just didn’t sit right with my manhood. Basically, you cut and then rip the sheath off of the actual testicle. Then you soak it in saltwater, par boil, and you're ready to go with the below picture. 

After the mind-damaging preparation, I decided to cook these breaded and un-breaded, just to see a few differences in taste. For the breaded batch I used eggs, flour, pepper and a sprinkle of cayenne. For the un-breaded I didn’t season them. I fried them up in a pan with some oil (breaded and not) and was nervous to sit down and try them.

I told the bull I was sorry for taking and eating something so valued to the male species, but after that I dug in. I was surprised to discover that the taste was pretty good. I wouldn’t say it was excellent, and I wouldn’t try it again unless there weren’t many other options (mainly due to the psychological scarring that came from the preparation of the raw meat), but I ate it all and had zero complaints. It’s a little tangier and tougher than other cuts of beef, and honestly the beef flavor is very faint. The breaded version was a lot milder, as are most breaded foods, but I did enjoy them both.

For men: I recommend eating this at a restaurant. It’s worth trying and there are some male specific benefits that trump the male-specific disgust that might be associated with eating the dish. However, spare your mind and don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t prepare this yourself!

For women: definitely tasty enough to try. 

Welp, that’s all for this addition. I think I’ll write up the iguana experience next. As always, thanks for listening with your eyes. 

More Like a Beaver Than a Rat

Most people cringe at the idea of eating something with the word rodent attached to it, and I must admit that I’m the same way. While I would try any type of food once (assuming trying it won’t kill me), there’s something about the cultural connotations of eating things like rats and mice that made me think twice about eating them. Still, thinking twice never stopped me from trying something and it sure didn’t stop me from trying this beast of a vermin.

I’m yet to see muskrat in a store somewhere, but it’s something that people hunt/trap. There seems to also be a negative connotation attached to the people that hunt/trap or eat muskrats, but I think the connotation is undeserved. While the word rat is in the name, muskrats are much more like beavers than rats. I hear people eat Beavers in some  parts of Maine, but until I have the privilege of traveling there, the muskrat will have to be as close as I get for now.

I got this particular muskrat from a friend at my mother’s church, so, sadly, I wasn’t the one who risked life and limb to catch this monstrosity of a rodent. Because it was caught fresh, it was delivered to me whole, and all but the skin, fur and guts came along.  As a particularly bloody meat, it had to soak overnight to help get some of the fluid out. Some sources say this also helps lower the “gamey” taste, but I had no interest in that (as I always want to taste the true flavor of the meat).

After the meat was soaked I opted to bake this thing whole. The feet were still attached, as shown in the pictures, and I wanted to cut them off but opted against it when it proved to be more work than it was worth. I threw a little bit of water and oil in the pan (lined with aluminum foil), along with some garlic and onion powder. Also put a tad bit of parsley on top for appeal (isn’t it so much more appealing with it on?).

It took about an hour to cook (can’t remember the exact time but I took the time from a recipe). When I pulled the sizzly goodness out of the oven the rodent looked just as grotesque, though a bit browner. I cut off some pieces for my mother, who was also bold enough to try it. When I sank my teeth into this meat I had no clue what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised. The meat was tender and delicious. In my mind it was somehow reminiscent of turkey, though my mother thought it was more like beef. It tasted much better than it looked and I’m glad I got to sample it.

So next time you hear someone talking about eating a muskrat, judge them not. Send a shock through your brain and your tongue and try this rodent if you dare. If it’s prepared right you won’t be disappointed.

Welp, that’s all for this addition. I’m thinking of doing a post for the rocky mountain oysters next. So stay tuned. As always, thanks for listening with your eyes. 

Brought New Meaning to Hump Day

They say that water is the most valuable thing found in the desert, but if you ask people that live in the desert, they may disagree. Camels are worth more than gold in some parts of the world, and they can certainly save your life if you’re stranded in a sand-filled wasteland.

Thankfully, I wasn’t stranded in a desert when I came across some camel meat, but if I was stranded in such a place, this would have certainly brightened my mood!

I have no clue what part of the camel I had purchased when I brought home the pound of ground camel from Strip District Meats in Pittsburgh, but I couldn’t stop smiling. I checked the nutritional facts label and was even happier to see that camel is a fantastically lean meat. With only 4 grams of fat in the entire pound, I wouldn’t feel guilty about eating two or three pounds of the stuff if I had it. Lucky for my colon I only had the one pound. Like most meats, Camel also comes standard with loads of protein.

I looked up a few recipes on how to cook the meat, but none of them really said much so I decided to do things my own way. It looked like ground beef, so I cooked it like ground beef, browning it nicely in a skillet. I didn’t throw any oil in, but I sprayed the pan. It created its own grease and browned nicely, so I threw a sprinkle of cumin on top and made a side of broccoli as an accompanying dish.

Camel was the first exotic meat I’d tried in a long time that defied my expectations in a good way. It wasn’t as sweet as the llama, but it was equal on the tenderness scale. It had a slight tangy twinge to it, but aside from this it was very similar to beef. If someone served me camel and told me it was cow I wouldn’t suspect a thing.

While some of the foods I eat are exotic, camel sounds a lot more exotic than it is and I recommend it to anyone looking to try something new. So far the Strip District has been the only place that I’ve seen this lovely meat, but I’m sure you can find it if you look.

That’s all for this addition. I’ll try to put up a post about muskrat soon, so if you hated the picture I threw up on Facebook (that was a shot at my coworker who vomited from looking at said picture) then don’t read the next post. Stay safe out there in this winter weather and as always, thanks for listening with your eyes!

Yo Llama Is So Stupid She Got Locked in a Mattress Store and Slept on the Floor

Yo llama is so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince! Yo llama is so ugly that even Goldfish crackers don't smile back. Okay, enough of the yo llama jokes. Excuse me if i can't contain my excitement, but I finally ate a llama! While that's not as sweet as saying, "I finally ate a horse" (just to say I'm so hungry I could eat a horse...and then eat it), eating a llama still sounds pretty sweet. Even better is the fact that the llama actually tastes good! Fresh off the bitter defeat from the python meat, I was ecstatic to finally get some good meat in my mouth.

The llama wasn't nearly as complicated as the python to cook. No marinade needed. All I had to do was pretty much brown it all the way through just like any other mammal that I can think of (at least if you're playing it safe). I accidentally started out by putting some oil in the pan, and my girlfriend was quick to remind me that most meats make their own grease so I didn't need it. I agreed with her, but we were both surprised to see that llama did not make it's own grease.

To make matters even weirder, the package for the llama said it had 40 something grams of fat in the whole thing. During my research I saw everyone talking about how lean the meat was, yet 40 grams per pound aint lean by any means. Still, despite the high fat count, there was no grease produced and it didn't taste fatty. Maybe the package lied?

Okay so it made a little teeny bit of grease

Either way, this meat turned out to be delicious. I seasoned most of it with cumin (leaving a bit unseasoned so I could get the real flavor of the meat at least once), and it tasted similar to beef. Llama was a bit sweeter than beef and camel, though camel was a bit tastier (I'll blog about that later). While this isn't the tastiest meat I've ever had, it's certainly a welcome replacement to the traditional flavors, and I definitely wouldn't mind eating it again. At only 10 dollars per pound from Strip District Meats, I don't think this was a bad choice at all.

Had some nice mushroom rice on the side

Welp, that's all for this addition. I can finally check one more animal off my list. Yo llama is so delicious...I ate it (last corny joke from me for a while). I'll get the camel post up soon, and then hopefully the one about muskrat. Until next time, be safe out there in this winter weather and thanks for listening with your eyes.

Sssuper Chewy

My adventurous tongue has returned! It's been a hot minute since I've managed to find some abnormal additions to my list, but I've finally added a few animals. Today's addition: python!

I've had rattlesnake once when I was in Chicago back in 2011, and I didn't think it was worth the 25 dollars I paid for it (only got like 4 little strips). It was chewy, and I'm starting to notice a trend among snakes.

This time around I managed to get a hold of some python meat. For the 40 dollars per pound sticker price on this bad boy, I expected to be swept off my feet into succulent heaven. Instead I had to just chew on the notion of making a pretty bad investment. Again, I used a few sources on the internet to learn how to properly prepare the meat, and I think the recipes were utilized in the right way. However, I was NOT impressed by the taste or texture of this particular creature.

All of the places I found online said the meat would be chewy, though most of them also said that the longer you cook it the chewier it becomes. So, I followed their instructions for preparation to try and cut down on the cook time.


Started out by cutting up some green onions for a quick marinade. Then I put the onions in a bowl with a sprinkle of salt and the juice of one lime.

The marinade

After the marinade was ready I cut the meat into smaller strips. Once the strips were sliced out, I scored the meat so the heat could get inside easier. While cutting it I noticed how tough certain parts of the meat were, and how soft other parts were. To me, it seemed the tough part was the portion just below the skin, and so that is what would be chewy once cooked. I was right, but also kind of wrong.

meat in marinade

Once the meat was prepared I put it in the marinade and let it sit for about 15 minutes before heating the skillet to a high heat and tossing on some oil. Then it was just like cooking anything else for the most part. The meat sizzled while it cooked and smelled rather nice. I was paranoid about getting a tape worm or something from the meat so I let the first batch sit on the skillet for about a minute instead of the 30 to 45 seconds I had seen in the recipes. I didn't season the first batch (hoping to taste the real flavor of the meat, untainted by seasoning). Batch two was seasoned with parsley (at the request of the girlfriend), while batch three was seasoned with red peppers.

Finished, the browned python meat appeared just as appetizing as any other meat. My mouth watered in anticipation, and my heart fluttered in excitement. I let the girlfriend try it first, and her face instantly morphed into a moue as she put it in her mouth. I figured her tongue just wasn't accustomed to unusual meats, but when I tried it, my face matched hers.

The flavor was bland, the meat was chewy, and the 40 dollars I spent on the food rushed into my mind to mock me. I could detect the subtle flavors of the lime and onion from the marinade, but as for the python, it didn't taste like much of anything. There was a slight flavor reminiscent of chicken, but slightly tangier, but if chicken was this chewy and devoid of goodness there'd be a lot more vegetarians in the world.

I suffered through the meal, and though it was super chewy, it was still edible so I ate it. Well, I ate most of it. The parts I mentioned earlier that were closest to the skin were so chewy that it didn't break apart at all. I faced the decision of swallowing the chunks whole, or spitting them into the trash. I chose the latter after I got as much meat as possible from them.

Alas, my latest experience with snake was not my favorite. I've come to realize that mammals are way tastier than reptiles, so if you're feeling adventurous in your mouth parts, keep that in mind.

Welp, I'll have the llama post up soon. Until then, stay safe in this winter weather and thanks for listening with your eyes.

15 Times Worse Than An Apple

It’s been over a year since I’ve crafted a blog post, but I suppose now is as good a time as any to start again. A bunch of people recommended I start food blogging, and though I’ve always wanted to, for some reason I never did. In recent weeks I’ve come across a number of “exotic” meats and, unlike in the past, I have had/will have the opportunity to prepare these foods instead of simply purchasing and eating. I’m no chef, at least not any more than all of us are, and though I’m not the best cook, the deep wells of international knowledge have splashed a number of recipes and techniques into my ears (aka the internet is full of crap and I’m trying some of the stuff I’ve read). I will try/have tried to prepare the foods in that manner.

Even though that introduction prepared you for a post all about meat, I’m here to disappoint you with a post about some crappy fruit. The quince is a plant ovary I'd never had the joy of tasting. In fact, I'd never even seen it before I spotted it on the top shelf in the Walmart produce aisle. Though it looks and smells delicious, it was not at all what I was expecting.

Excuse the mess in my room, but here's the quince

I located a number of recipes/ways to prepare the fruit online. During my search I found that the fruit has to be cooked, and when it is it will turn pink and tender. Said recipes also said the fruit would be ready to cook when it produces a sweet fragrance (which could be smelled through the peel), and so I waited for such an occasion. When said occasion came, I realized the smell of this fruit was one of the best fragrances possessed by any fruit I’ve snuffed. Despite this, I should have known the fruit might not be the best when all of the recipes called for either poaching the flesh in sugar or honey, or simply adding sugar or honey somewhere in along the lines. One even called for throwing apples into the mix, but I figured honey would be good enough so that’s what I used. Perhaps the pleasant aromas are what tricked me into believing this fruit would be a sweet success. Whatever it was that tricked me, my tongue was very disappointed. Instead of yum, it tasted more like an apple that had been robbed of taste. 

The Quince after being cut open. Had to remove the core

The quince cooking in honey water.

I can’t say for sure why my quince was no good. Anytime I prepare something there’s always a chance that I’ll mess it up (fondest and saddest mess-up was the iguana I prepared…so much potential that I completely squandered through improper preparation). With this fruit though, I followed the directions I found and still came up short. If you’ve had quince but with a better result, please to let me know so I don't hate the number 15 forever!

Horrible tasting quince. Slightly pink and tender but disgusting. 

Also, not sure if there is anyone reading this that is well-versed in the art of fruit, but if you know why this fruit is Spanish for 15 I’d be thrilled to know the answer.

Stay tuned as I’ll be throwing up a post about the Python and Llama meat I tried recently. I Might also put in a blurb (or a whole separate post) about the camel and muskrat I’ve had (haha enough people hated the picture on Facebook so I feel as though I’d be doing an injustice to the rest of the world if I didn’t put it up here). Until then, stay safe out there, and as always, thanks for listening with your eyes.